Things I trust more than a pro-spanker

  1. Trump
  2. A $10 tattoo (no, I don't currently have any tattoos, but I've neither ruled out the possibility one day nor made plans to ever get one. That said, I'd sure as hell never get a $10 tattoo.)
  3. My ability to eat Taco Bell and Indian food in the same meal without regrets.
  4. Day-old gas station sushi
  5. Mayonnaise that has been sitting in the sun on a 100 degree day.
  6. My ability to watch a documentary about Ike Turner with a loaded gun and not shoot the television.
  7. My ability to skydive without a parachute or wingsuit, just my trusty Walmart bag!
  8. A rusty nail as a genital piercing tool (no, I don't have any genital piercings, or any piercings for that matter, I'm making a point!
  9. Politicians
  10. My ability to knock Chuck Norris out in a fight
  11. Anyone who tries to tell me they can find an open bar in Utah on a Sunday.
  12. That some pro-spanking jerk who only believes freedom of speech should be one way, THEIR way, won't try to shut this page down, but that's okay even if they do, I'll just make another!