Anti-spanking humor

A List of Things I Trust More than any Pro-Spanking Opinion or Argument, or any pro-spanker

You are certainly welcome to try to convince me otherwise, but I'm anti-spanking and I'm going to stay that way. Sweden has banned spanking for 40 years and is closing prisons due to a lack of people to put in prison. Same is happening in Netherlands and Germany. Of course, I'm sure some of you will try to claim that has nothing to do with the spanking ban. That's okay. You're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to my facts. If I don't convince you I will convince your children or grandchildren. So here goes...things I trust more than any pro-spanking opinion or argument, or any pro-spanker.
  1. A $10 tattoo (you can't even get a henna tattoo for that anymore!, let alone a real one!)
  2. Day-old truck stop sushi
  3. Mayonnaise that has been sitting in the sun on a 100 degree day.
  4. My ability to watch a documentary about Ike Turner with a loaded gun and not shoot the television.
  5. The people behind HashOcean - that Bitcoin site that scammed a bunch of people back in 2016
  6. My ability to skydive without a parachute or wingsuit, just my trusty Walmart bag!
  7. A rusty nail as a genital piercing tool (no, I don't have any genital piercings, or any piercings for that matter, I'm making a point!
  8. Politicians
  9. My ability to knock Chuck Norris out in a fight
  10. A beer festival in rural Utah to be a wild success with the locals.
  11. That some pro-spanking jerk who only believes freedom of speech should be one way, THEIR way, won't try to shut this page down, but that's okay even if they do, I'll just make another!
  12. Uber and Lyft passengers to be fair when rating drivers
  13. That guy who lives in that apartment complex I hate making deliveries to in downtown Columbus, Ohio, not to be a jackass if I'm delivering to him.
  14. Kelly Clarkson to give a competent performance. (Of course, I know it's all in my head. I used to love her music until she came out as pro-spanking. Now she can go screw herself with a cactus. You're entitled to your opinion, Smelly Clarkson, but you're not entitled to my money if you say something I don't like. To the pro-spankers who rip me for this, I remind you that you, too, boycott anti-spanking folks all the time. So it's a two way street and shut the flip up. This is my website. Go make your own website.)
  15. Kirstie Alley, Howard Stern, Elisabeth Rohm, Matt Damon, or Judge Judy to actually say something that pisses me off (to the best of my knowledge, they're all against spanking or at least non-spankers when it comes to kids, so they can do no wrong in my eyes.)
  16. Next: The Genie

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